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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, is it the first marriage and first child for both of you?
How was his drinking pre kid?
I am asking because I think it may be that your DH felt pressured to have a baby (not by you, by his biology and society), and after that was accomplished he lost interest in whatever romance there was in your relationship? It happens to women, so why not to men?
Or maybe he is turned off by your breastfeeding, by the fact that you are a mom, etc? It happens..
I suggest you try to find your joy in baby, friends, etc- if DH is happy to stay with the baby, why not go out and do your own hiking, walks, and what not? Try not to be so hung up on DH.
I am saying this as a mom who lost interest in her husband after the baby was born. The best thing he could do is basically do his own thing when I am with our child,  and let me do my own when he wants to be with our child. I think I would have come around if he did that. He however chose to demand my attention in so many ways, and I am enjoying his company even less.[/quote]

OP here, this is very interesting.  First marriage and child for me, second to both for him.  We did not plan to have a baby, but we were open to the possibility.  I don't think he felt obligated; rather, he was reluctant.  But not that the baby is here he's really crazy about the baby, which is lovely.  He's devoted and very dedicated in many levels.

He did drink before we married, but never this much.  But this sounds a lot like his first marriage.  He talked a lot about how he and his ex were never friends.  They went to bed hours apart and he'd drink by himself for company.  She was obsessed with their child and he did everything around the house.  They had nothing between them
Except the child.

Now it feels like he's fallen back into those patterns completely.  Any time I bring it up he dismisses me.
The difference, though, is I can see beyond our child to want to focus on our friendship, but he doesn't seem to care about that.  At all.  He doesn't appear to miss it or me.

It's pretty lousy that it's your husband's desire for connection with you that turns you off.  Sounds pretty torturous for him.  Did you ever expresss to him that you needed space and that space might help you like him more?  [/quote]

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