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[quote=Anonymous]OP, do what you need to do/think is what will be best for your and husband and baby.  Set the boundaries early and firmly (but pleasantly of course).

"We have decided that we don't want any company or guests for the first week, in order to get settled and get a handle on our new reality.  If you wish to come you can stay in a hotel and come visit us briefly at the hospital and perhaps for an hour or two at home.  Otherwise we'd like to plan for a longer visit (when you can stay with us) once we have settled into a routine."

And absolutely you must be a united front with your husband.

We had to do this w/ three sets of grandparents - none local.  One set couldn't fly in.  One drove in and stayed elsewhere and just visited for a coulple of hours at the hospital and then went home (until next visit a few weeks later).  One set flew in when our twins were about a month old and stayed for a week.

One set fought us hard (the one that flew in and stayed) and sound much like yours - high maintenance and fairly selfish.  MIL protested aggressively but we announced that this would be our plan when I was only about 5mths along and kept saying it without changing our mind until she finally gave up - which took months.

In the end  I was happy to have visitors at the hospital but less so at home.  I agree with others that having a baby, especially your first, is a "get out of jail free" card to be unusually self-centered in terms of what you want - whether or not anyone else (other than your husband) agrees.

Good luck and congratulations![/quote]

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