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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you know the answer already about the land...you don't accept it. Drop it. Don't give you and your family golden handcuffs. I'm sorry for all that you've gone through. You can survive without his "gift" wrapped in strings upon strings upon strings.[/quote]

+1. Also, if cutting your dad off permanently seems impossible, give yourself permission to take a few years off from the relationship. Use that time to focus on your husband and family foremost, but to think about your dad occasionally when it doesn't stress you out. My mother was so bad a parent that when the kids were little I took as a rule of thumb to do the opposite of whatever she did. It worked. When I finally did bring her back into the fold, we both had had time to grow and move on a bit. She's a much better grandparent than she ever was as a parent. However, beware: if you see your dad repeating negative behaviors with your kids, pull back. It's your right and responsibility as a parent to protect your kids from negative influences, whoever they may be.

You have all my sympathy. Good luck to you, your DH and your kids. Give yourself a well-deserved break.[/quote]

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