Reply to How do you know when there is no chance of things changing in a marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband did something very hurtful to me as he got very close to another woman while at the same time distancing himself from me over two years ago. I found out and things stopped, but even after things calmed down (the first few months were horrible), it seems that I don't have the ability to not think about what happened and convince myself that he was happier before I found out and is only staying married because of the kids and stability. He is trying, but every so often something happens that triggers the same feelings in me about how he feels about me.

Considering it's been two years -- and we've only been seven years and we have two small children -- I'm starting to think that I will never get back to feeling the same around him ever again. I know people get over much worse such as a true affair, but at some point I am trying to decide when it is clear that I will never get my feelings back.

Does anyone have any tips on when and how they decided that things would never get back to normal after something like this or even worse (as I realize that this is not that bad relative to other things) when their spouse is doing and saying the right things to make it seem like a one time mistake. [b]In this case, it is my feelings and my actions that are the problem and he is really trying.[/b] I just don't believe what is driving his behavior and convince myself every so often that it is just stability that makes him stay. Thanks.[/quote]

From your post, it sounds like you still doubt that he loves you.  Whatever he did was a big blow to your self esteem.

How confident in your relationship were you before he met the other woman?

Realize this, you deserve to be loved 100% and you should be able to trust the man you are with.  If not, why do you stay? 
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