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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am exactly like you, exactly. Once I had kids I really did not feel that I had enough bandwidth to be a good parent and a good employee, so I gradually backed out of the workforce and am now a SAHM. When I was working, I didn't realize how low my productivity was, but now I look back and totally see how much of a mismatch my working style was with the profession I was in.[b] I was an attorney, and when I had to draft a memo or a brief, I had to do *exhaustive* research that took many hours so I would be absolutely certain I wasn't missing anything important.[/b] I revised and revised and revised. I had a hard time letting good enough be good enough and letting things go and turning in a final product. [b]I'm really convinced that this is just a personality trait that can be handled with practice but not changed.[/b] I got into photography as a hobby earlier this year and took newborn photos for a couple of friends (for free) and noticed the exact same tendencies -- [b]spent hours and hours editing and trying to make everything perfect, obsessing over what I could have done differently during the shoots, procrastinating turning over the photos because I was afraid they weren't perfect.  I am a huge procrastinator by nature and I constantly underestimate how much time things are going to take.[/b] I don't have any advice for you since I don't think I've necessarily learned to cope with these issues in my own life (really I have only realized that I had them in the past couple of years), but you are definitely not alone.[/quote]

PP, there is being slow and methodical and then there is being a perfectionist, and then there is being such a perfectionist that it disables you.  You sound like your perfectionism disables you.  It's not normal, it's not natural, and it's not acceptable.  I note this because I also have perfectionist tendencies.  Being a perfectionist can be a toxic, toxic thing.  It causes procrastination, for one thing, because every minor job becomes daunting because it takes so much effort.  And then you find everyone around you accomplishing more because they can handle imperfection.  And yes, you can change this behavior.  It's based on purely artificial standards- there is no such thing as "perfect," not in a legal brief, and not in anything else.  I like to turn in high quality work, but I set limits for myself so that I do not become obsessive.  You need to stop making excuses and fix this so that if you want to re-enter the workforce some day, you'll be able to.  I say that with complete sympathy because I have the same problem.[/quote]

Can you give me some practical tips/advice on how to fix this? How do you manage it? I'm not the pp you responded to, but I am an attorney and it's a daily struggle. Unlike pp, sometimes I procrastinate on things just because it's unpleasant to do even though I logically know it's not a big deal.[/quote]

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