Reply to New baby, Vegas and strip clubs

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I totally get why this is upsetting to you, and harder for you to take right now that it would have been at any other time in your relationship (or possibly would be for you in the future.)

Now is a time when your life has been turned upside down, you're not feeling like yourself physically again yet, everything is changed, you're stressed out and not getting enough sleep and facing returning to work, etc...

I get it.

What you could keep in mind though, is that your husband isn't choosing to go to a strip club because he isn't attracted to you.  He isn't choosing to go to a strip club because he's unhappy at home.  He isn't choosing to go to a strip club as any kind of statement on your marriage, your attractiveness, his feelings about you or your life together etc...  Nothing about him going to the strip club, in his head or even in actual fact, has anything to do with you.  He's going because it's part of the bachelor party stuff.  That's all.  That's the only reason he's going to Vegas, that's the only reason he's leaving you at all, etc...

I don't love strip clubs.  And I don't love bachelor parties that are driven by mandatory strip club activity.  But I love and trust my husband and don't want to embarrass him or make anything seem more important in the big picture than it actually is.  So he's done these things (and had them done for him at his bachelor party) on rare occasion and I live with it.

Anyway, I'm not sure this is rambling, but I think you need honor your feelings (and try to find a way to help your husband understand what you're feeling and let him reassure you) while also honoring who you were before the baby and who you're likely to be again when you regain your equilibrium.  You sound like you're pretty secure in your own skin (and marriage) most of the time.  That will return, I promise.  You are in the weeds of post-partum realities and newborn challenges right now.  You won't always feel like this.

Hang in there.  Good luck with the return to work.  Trust that a year from now you will have a handle on things and the rockiness of these first few weeks will have largely faded into the past.

And congrats on your baby!!  :-)[/quote]

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