Reply to How do you know when there is no chance of things changing in a marriage

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[quote=Anonymous]My Ex-Wife got real close to an old high school friend through FB. She kept their communication a secret, so by the time I found out they'd all but had sex. My initial reaction was that I was leaving (naked pics were enough for me), but I thought about our child and tried to work it out. She tried to stop talking to the guy, but she'd become so emotionally attached that she resorted to going behind my back to continue talking to him for another month or two. Eventually she stopped talking to him, but the damage was done.

I believe that she wanted to do better, but the trust was broken. Although nothing physically happened, I still felt cheated on. We'd had problems in the past with her being dishonest about trivial things, so when something potentially fatal to our marriage came about I was unable to look past it. I found myself second-guessing everything she said and did from that point. We went to counseling in the beginning, but she lied to me and the therapist about her continued communication with the other man. I felt like I'd never be able to look at her the same or trust her again, so we eventually got divorced.

Issues like the one you're going through are like a rock chipping your windshield. Sometimes it just leaves a small chip. Other times, that chip continues to spread slowly over time until the whole thing is shot. You know yourself and what you can deal with. Try counseling, but if it doesn't work then you may have to consider pulling the plug. Either way, take care of yourself.
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