Reply to DH constantly putting me down, especially my appearance

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this is not okay, and you know this is not okay, I suspect that after years of being worn down you are just unable to see how f-ing crazy this is. I liked that article the PP posted, I've read it before.

If you change, the dynamic will change. Your husband will learn you can't be treated like that, and it doesn't necessarily mean you will stay married but you will take control back. I think your husband has low self worth, and this is his way of trying to stay in control. I dealt with something similar (husband didn't put me down but had a long term affair which is another form of emotional abuse and definitely meant a lot of gaslighting and manipulation).

You can learn to stand up for yourself effectively. I think screw marriage counseling for now and get individual therapy - not implying YOU are in the wrong but it takes two people to keep a dynamic, he is wrong, but you can do empower yourself and keep it from happening. If he won't change you can. But I suspect he will change (my husband sure did, and if he can do it there is hope for any man - he was pretty far gone). He will get scared that these tactics aren't working and be forced to change.

I've seen firsthand what can happen when one person makes positive changes. [/quote]

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