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[quote=Anonymous]I was not in an abusive relationship, but in one that had turned bad, and was divorced at 30.  I'm now 38, remarried with two kids and a stepchild and very happy.

Some tips, for what they're worth....

- Definitely spend some time thinking about what YOU can do differently.  I thought a lot about how I had contributed to relationship problems, how I had often chosen the wrong people, and really tried to change that.
- Make a very conscious effort to be 100% yourself when you're with a man.  That will allow you to figure out if it's a good match or not much more quickly.
- I was lucky in that my first husband was a dad already so I got to see how he was with kids.  It made me more confident in my choice of him as a life partner.
- Just generally, I think men who make the best partners are men who are optimistic about life, kind to people in stations both above and below themselves, and open to new ideas and new things.

I'd also say to be open to dating divorced men and men with kids.  I think women in their thirties have the toughest time dating -- too many men are married during that decade....men who are still single late into their thirties are single for a reason, and few are already divorced.  So I'd be open about dating either younger men or older men who are divorced and may already have kids.[/quote]

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