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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am in Montgomery County.

An unfortunate development: Just today, DH picked a fight with me by bringing up a conflict from a few days ago which began with him making, in front of our daughter, a completely unexpected and inappropriate joke about "not doing mushrooms anymore". This was his "joke" in response to my daughter asking "Daddy, do you listen to Mommy?". Which she asked because she came across the power strip that we had carried up from the basement the day before, which DH had wrapped in a signature way that can potentially damage it, and I lightheartedly had told her, I tell him to not wrap my gear this way, but he cant help himself- this is how he learned to do it". In other words, it was a completely benign concept she was referencing.

I immediately said "Oh shit" in my mind, as in: he is going to be paranoid about that. I tried to deflect with lighthearted questions about what she means, and he seemed to be doing the same. It was first thing in the am and I had not even had my coffee yet. Then DH, blurted out "I dont do Mushrooms anymore." I turned around and just looked at him while cooking the morning eggs, and just looked at him in stunned disbelief while my daughter asked "Do Mushrooms?" and he said "I dont rock-climb anymore" with a little grin on his face while I just stared at him in disbelief not even knowing what to say.

Then I just said "I cant believe your making these jokes"- or something like that WHich started him yelling at me in front of DD while I tried to get away from him. We both in fact went downstairs into the basement with our breakfast. He followed us downstairs and insisted he should be talking about this with me when all I was asking for was a 15 minute break.

This was with him on the double dose wellbutrin. In the analysis that ensued after he finally simmered down, he said he was joking and "I guess we dont see eye to eye". I should add the DH smokes weed, despite my wishing he did not, and while I am ok with it and he claims he told the docs about it (one said he should probably reduce or it might interfere with the medication). But he leaves his stash out sometimes in plain view by mistake and he had been making that mistake alot lately. He apolohozes each time but fails to see that if he keeps doing this, the other person is going to get upset and rightfully so.

So this same person making a drug joke does not see how maybe that really is not the joke to be making for a whole bunch of reasons.

He brought this up today in a belligerent manner, taht the problem wasME that "I clearly thought I could trust you to cover (the joke) for me. Clearly I cant trust you." And that was, Im afraid, the last straw. I told him we are heading for separation. That I cant take this anymore. This treatment of me as always being the problem is something I cannot take anymore.

To which he said "OK". Then "I dont know what I did to deserve you coming to that conclusion".

10 plus years of harsh emotional verbal abuse and other problems. Blaming me for when in fact his meds are being stacked wrong and he is losing ground. Starting fights with me in front of our DD. And he cant see why I have come to this conclusion.

NO, I cannot fix this. Its very sad. The man I married is apparenty completely GONE.

I told him taht as long as I am around him, he wont see what I am talking about. That he should go on the first leg of an out of town contract for 30 days (begins January) and he cna see how he feels without me around. Maybe he will find everything is better for him, maybe he wont. BUt I wont live like THIS any longer.

I have no place to go. We will have to live together while we "separate", which means we take care of our child, we spend time apart. I told him that there will absolutely be NO conversation about ANYthing in front of our child EVER except logistics. He of course quipped "Is that rule just for ME? or is that a rule for us both"? I said I am absolutely resolute that there will absolutely NO discussion of personal matters of any kind in front of DD.

IF he breaks that rule, I will go stay with my dad. LAST thing I want to do, but I will have no other choice.

Im going to stop posting now as its probably pointless. I will reach out to NAMI's forums and see what I can find. If I find something good I will post the link here. So manye people in my position. Tragic.

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