Reply to leaving someone suicidal

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  What if I put it this way.  What's the best, most compassionate way to leave someone who's mentally ill, refuses to get help, and won't participate in conversations about separation.[/quote]

You don't just take off and run.  You help them.  Go to counseling with them.  Help them figure out a plan.  Stress that you are not leaving to hurt them, and that no relationship can make them happy, and that you will always care about him or her and try to be there for him or her when they need you.  Tell then that there will be times when they will not feel this way.  Remind them of all the people that love them and would miss them if they were gone.  Remind them of their talents and what they have left to give to the world.

Think of something else other than your own immediate need to be done with this person.[/quote]

And how long do you do this for?  Op indicates her friend's husband has been like this for years and won't get help.  At some point, her friend's needs and their children's needs are more important.  Or should her friend wait until she spirals into a deep depression as well?  [/quote]

People rarely stay extremely and imminently suicidal for long.  Suicidal ideation comes and goes, but being imminently suicidal happens much less often.  If you are convinced that someone is imminently suicidal, you do not turn your back on them -- you give them your hand.  Take them yourself to the hospital, and stay with them until they are admitted.  Do not humiliate them with an ambulance. After they are discharged or have calmed down, you need to involve other people that can be a support system for this person.  Once you detach -- slowly and with love -- they are much less likely to "threaten" suicide to you.  However, if they do reach out to you at some point in crisis -- again, you do not give them your back.  You give them your hand.[/quote]

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