Reply to My DH occasionally binge drinks and drives w/ kids in car

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get a good lawyer. Get out and take your kids with you before one of them gets killed. Good luck.[/quote]

Thanks, but I feel like you didn't read past the subject line.[/quote]

I'm not the poster who suggested a lawyer and leaving, but I agree 100% and I read the whole post multiple times.

What OP describes sounds like grounds for supervised visits only to me. This is a father who drinks and drives with the kids in the car, whose wife has reported his car to the police as a suspected DUI, who cannot control his drinking in and out of the house. He refuses to change his behavior, "won't agree to not driving the kids" and the OP says she can't do anything about it.

I think she needs to talk to a women's shelter and a lawyer, pronto.[/quote]

Why a shelter?[/quote]

Because your husband is endangering your children and he refuses to change his behavior. It doesn't matter if he believes that he is sober enough to drive if he isn't.

Look, I'm not one of those people who assumes that if you've had a beer, you're automatically not safe to drive. You didn't say that he has "a beer" though. You said he "binge drinks" which I assume to mean multiple drinks in a relatively compressed timeframe. It doesn't matter if he's physically dependent or not. If he has multiple drinks in a short time span and then gets behind the wheel, he is endangering your children and all the other children on the roads he drives on as well. If he is unwilling to accept this, I would be unwilling to allow my child to be in that car. If you are unwilling to enforce that, you are either enabling him or you need to talk to someone about the control issues in your marriage.[/quote]

Please, tell me how I would 'enforce' that?  And yes, he drinks after work and then picks kids up from aftercare or from activities, etc.  Or drinks at home while I am out at PTA meetings, or even after I've gone to bed.  [/quote]

I would pick kids up at all times.  I don't care if it is inconvenient to me.  I'd rather be inconvenienced than have dead kids.  Make sure to get there 15 min before pick up.  I bet he'd rather keep drinking then cut into his drinking time to pick them up to spite you.  You aren't at the house, you arrange for a babysitter or some other child care situation.  Do you have any mom friends who can confide in who can take your kids while you are at a PTA meeting?  I'd watch my friends' kids in a heart beat if this was their situation.   If he tried to take my kids out of the house and he's been drinking, I'd bring them into another room and not let him take them.  He tries to drag them out or lays his hands on me to get me out of the way, I call the cops.  He wants to call the cops on me?  Gladly.  I'd love for him to explain why he wants to drive his children when he's been drinking.  I bet the cops would love it.  [/quote]

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