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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Once a year for us, and we encourage them to come out when they can. They are retired but the cost prohibits them from coming more than once a year, if that.[/quote]

So they know that the cost prohibits THEM from traveling to see you much, yet they seem to think you're made of money and can hop out to see them more often?

I'd remind them that the flights cost the same for you -- more, actually, since I'm guessing you're toting kid or kids along. Actually, don't mention the cost; they sound like the kind of guilt-mongers who would fix on that comment and whine at you about how they'll be martyrs and give you money to come see them....

You cannot win this one, OP. Go the one time you want, or not at all. When this topic comes up in conversation, act as if you did not hear it and start talking about something else. Do it every single time. If they ask a direct question or make a direct demand that you visit them, be swift and brief: "I know you'd like us to come out there more but we come when we can afford it in money and in time." Then change the topic in your next breath.

And to be more positive: If they have other, good qualities that you like, focus on those and again -- change the topic to things your kids are doing, or other happy stuff. If their main flaw is the guilt over travel (and they aren't into laying general, constant guilt on you), then just never engage on that topic and engage them a lot on other ones that are positive between you. If they ARE constant guilt-givers, well, time to screen your calls more.[/quote]

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