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[quote=Anonymous]
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I've seen you recommend these books.

How is it helpful for her (and others) to come to view the father of their children, or someone they spent time with in a long-term relationship, as a sociopath or someone with a character disorder?  Her children presumably have to spend time with this man, their father, alone.  Now you want her to think of him as a sociopath??

OP, I had a relationship similar to this (no kids or marriage).  Had some therapy and came to view this person more as a "Peter Pan."  Someone who would say anything to get people to like him or please people in the short term, but with no follow through.  Someone who never grew up.  This isn't a sociopath.  Yes, it's a defect of character, it's maddening, and it's impossible to live with.  But it's not a complete lack of conscience or a lack of love for you.  I think you were loved, just not the way you needed to be or should be.  Find the love you need and deserve.[/quote]

It is helpful for OP to view the father of her children as sociopath because that's what he is!!! Adding denial is what exacerbates and extends a situation like this.  The problem with these kind of people is they lie to everyone- including the children. My STBX has borderline personality disorder and I never had to bring up the situation with my tween kids, they started approaching me asking about dad's inconsistencies. For their mental well being, I had to explain to the kids, that "It's dad, not you." My kids are in counseling because while I can divorce him, they cannot, they have to learn how to be in a relationship with their dad while protecting themselves and they can decide when a little bit older whether to limit, love from a distance, or break off the relationship.[/quote]

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