Reply to crappy birthday, again

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "crappy birthday, again"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You aren't going to change him so you need to change your expectations. [/quote]

Agree.  You've set expectations for him that he doesn't do naturally and are making him jump through hoops.  Let's face it, if you have to instruct him to celebrate your birthday just to make you feel cherished and validated, there is something wrong here.  He's not doing this because he thought of it, he's doing it because he's following instructions.  Like checking off a box.  Why would this make you feel better?
Instead, you are unhappy with the situation and ranting at him and making him unhappy about the situation, creating a stressful environment for both of you.  The above PP has quoted something that is frequently recommended.  You cannot change another person and trying to do so will only make both of you unhappy.  You can mention it to him as you did last year, and then he can choose to change or not.  But, either you need to find a way to self-validate yourself (e.g. buying yourself a gift or treating yourself to a meal) or accept that he's not a romantic or sentimental type and won't remember to do something to celebrate your birthday.  But trying to change him is something that will only make your marriage suffer.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics