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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the one who originally replied to OP about having yours/mine/ours finances, and am laughing at the people who find it so objectionable.

I can't fathom asking DH if it's okay if I buy a $100 dress. Our joint finances are always covered, we talk about exactly how much we are saving and spending, I earn my money, and the notion that then somehow I have to "ask permission" to spend my own money once the household expenses are paid is silly to me. But as I said, and as others have said, it requires open communication and very similar financial outlooks (and in our case incomes). We've never fought once about money, and very much live within our means. (And don't have kids.) If there's higher household expenses than our usual monthly joint contributions, we cover it from our own accounts, no carping or whatever.

I assume once we retire there will be much more merging of finances. And that will be fine.

You may think we sound like roommates (and gosh, we've only been together 20 years now), but I think you guys freaking out at separate finances sound like a bunch of controlling fraidy cats.

[/quote]

We have joint finances and I don`t ask permission. I doubt that is how many people work. We just see it as our money instead of as your money and my money. Some people (not all) that have joint finances also still each have little separate accounts for fun money / gifts.

I think Op the fact you are doing this arrangement to keep a certain aspect of your finances hidden is a problem. I think separate accounts can work but not when one person has a part of their life they aren't comfortable with the other person knowing about. [/quote]

OP here.  Just to be clear, the pre-marital obligation isn't hidden, she's very much aware of it.  [/quote]

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