Reply to What is the definition of a "single parent"?

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Reply to "What is the definition of a "single parent"?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I define a single parent as someone who is single (that is, they aren't married, and don't have a partner), and a parent (that is, they have a child for whom they provide significant amounts of day to day care, and financial responsibility).  Being a single parent can come with certain challenges that are unique to various kinds of single parents, e.g. dealing with your children's grief if you're widowed, or negotiating custody or child support, or figuring out how to introduce your child to someone you're dating, or carrying the burden of major worries by yourself, but not all single parents face all of these challenges.  But single parenthood isn't defined by challenges.

I'm a single mom of one child who has no father who acknowledges him, or is listed on his birth certificate.  Right now, my parenting life is about as easy as parenting can be.  My kid's in high school.  He walks himself to school, and gets all of his extracurricular activities at school (e.g. chorus, sports practices, etc . . . ), so I don't need to worry about carpools or fitting my work schedule around his.  He's gone a ton of hours between practices and sleepovers at friend's houses, and if he is around and I want to go out he can stay home alone, or get himself wherever he needs to go on the metro.  He cooks food, and does his own laundry, and has a part time job to earn his spending money.  He's got an easy going personality, and a strong work ethic so we don't have behavioral crises, and I don't have to help with homework.

I have married friends whose parenting life is far harder than mine.  They might have many small children, or children with disabilities or challenging personalities or medical conditions.  They might have other issues that impact their parenting, financial stress or health issues.  They're dealing with diapers, and daycare bills, and kids who need constant supervision.

If you define single parenthood by how "hard" one has it, then I guess I'm not a single parent right now, and my married SAH neighbor with the severely autistic preschooler and the husband who works 80 hours a week is.  How does that definition make sense.

OP, it sounds like you're frustrated by her whining, and that you judge her for creating the situation she's in.  I can understand that, and it's quite possible that she's being a whiny brat.  I think you also need to realize that sharing custody comes with its own set of problems.  In the beginning, kids are often confused and anxious and clingy.  Kids who are exposed to two different parenting styles, can have problems behaviorally adjusting to the new setting.  Helping your children stay connected to someone, and have positive feelings for someone you are angry at or even hate, is tough.  She's probably dealing with all these things, and feeling overwhelmed, and worried that they'll never adjust and that it will always be like this.  [/quote]

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