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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both DH & my folks live a thousand miles away, so visits here are long weekends and usually include a lot of meals out.

My inlaws are much wealthier than we are and both still working (but we are just fine) and refuse to let us treat - we have tried, but even with little outings its like they know "what we're up to" and zip ahead of us with a credit card. When in town, they encourage us to choose the places we never treat ourselves to.

My mom is a widow - my dad died before retirement and she is okay financially but also on a fixed income. We either treat or cook together at home when she comes to visit, except that she always asks to treat us to a thank you dinner somewhere.  We try to tell her it's not necessary but she likes doing it and can, so we go with it and enjoy ourselves.  When dad was alive they always insisted on treating too, so I would always plan a super-fancy meal at home for them.

On the other hand, when DH's grandfather was still alive he was elderly and in assisted living.  If a group of us went out to a restaurant, DH's aunt (who is very well off but also a grownup still considering herself the baby of that branch of the family) would be clear that she expected the grandfather (her dad) to pay.  Of course we didn't let that happen and got the check ourselves, but jeez.

Sometimes parents paying for grown children is mooching, sometimes it's not.  If parents want to treat and are able to, it's one thing (and a lucky one at that).  But your sister expecting them to treat just because they're your parents seems a bit grabby to me (whether or not you can afford it, but especially so if you can).

I don't know what you can do about it that you haven't already tried though, OP - it seems like your sister has decided that it's the way things ought to be and you've had a tough time changing her mind already.[/quote]

OP here- my sister knows this is how its going to be, yet chooses to bitch about it. There are several "expectations" of my mother that my sister has, which will never happen. I remind her of this every time my mom visits her. I keep reminding her my mom will never change (especially at this age) so it is what it is.

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