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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]minimize interactions. get together with the whole family only. no need to have special girls time coffees for you to get blasted on your personal choices.[/quote]

This.
SIL and I both married into the family (married brothers, neither of us is "the daughter").  We - Dh and I - have nothing in common with them (it's not just SIl in our case) and in some cases they have actively done stuff that has pissed us off (and the rest of the family).
I have always said, and continue to say, that I want a minimal relationship with them, so that when their kids need to come live with us for awhile (I totally see this coming) we won't be complete strangers.  I DO want us to have a relationship with the kids, but frankly if you say "cousins" I know THOSE are not the kids who pop into our kids' heads.

For the sake of MIL and FIL, who are on good terms with everyone, we all grin and bear it.  We will occasionally get together, maybe lunch out, for one of the kids' birthdays or something, but there is little to no effort at extracurricular socializing.  If we DO make plans, chances are one of us will cancel due to a sick kid (at least that's the excuse  lol).

I think why this works is 1, DH and I are completely in agreement on the amount of socializing required and 2, I don't mind socializing with her every now and then, so that I have more good "OMG I can't believe she said this" stories for my REAL friends :-)[/quote]

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