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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
I have asked him a few times in the past two weeks to talk about the situation (since I told him as soon as I found out, he knows) and he just ignores me, says he's busy or just doesn't respond. [/quote]

I am so sorry you are in this situation OP. But the above should tell you all you need to know about whether your husband is going to stick around as parent to child #2 (or come around to being parent to #2). The fact that he won't even discuss/acknowledge this suggests that he most likely does not want to work on the marriage.  So, your decision at this point rests entirely on whether you think you can, and want to, have a baby on your own and be a single parent to two children.

I have no advice for or against for you. If it were me, I'd probably terminate the pregnancy, but I am not in your shoes and maybe I'd feel differently if I were.  I can only say that having #2 at 42--with a pretty committed husband--was very hard. We are always tired. Our first child is pretty exhausting, however, and is still in terrible threes. Your mileage may vary. We also don't know whether your marriage is totally over or not--but it sounds to me like you're willing to work on it, your husband is not. Unfortunately, his lack of response means that you need to make this decision accepting that the most likely scenario is that you will not be married (or in a functional marriage) to your husband when you have the baby. You also need to think about what kind of co-parenting relationship you think you could have with him--for the same of your child and, if you continue the pregnancy, your second child. And, if he does not want another child, you have to think about whether he will man up and be a decent father or whether his anger/resentment will grow (and will impact the child he does have, now, with you). It is terrible that he is not weighing in on the decision, but perhaps that is for the best.

I suggest individual therapy for you to explore things and a really truly realistic assessment of whether you can have another child on your own and continue to be a good, strong single parent to both kids (I mean, you probably can, but is it for the best? there's no going back, either way). [/quote]

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