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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I was asking for strategies not judgment.  We both work 50+ hours a week in high-stress shift work (think military, law enforcement--this includes the overnight shift) leaving the one who is with the kids effectively a single parent for a good part of the day.  Like everybody else, we are just trying to get stuff done like lawn work, grocery shopping and housework in the time that we are off from work.  We make time for family but we also need time to get stuff done.  Multiple visits per week are not conducive to that.  I am asking for strategies from people who have been in a similar situation, not commentary.[/quote]

When she shows up, put her to work!  "So glad you're here, Mom.  The kitchen's a mess. Can you unload then reload the dishwasher for us?  Little Jenny would love to keep you company by playing with her dolls on the floor next to you while you do it."  or "Hey, Mom, nice to see you.  Kids and I were just raking the leaves.  Here, you can take my rake.  While you're doing that, Joe and I will weed the back flower beds."[/quote]

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