Reply to why do parents make things forbidden fruit?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate to break it to the smug set who says their kids are following the rules because they set them - they are most likely not and are hiding it from you.[/quote]

Oh FFS...I was waiting for that response.   :lol:  Yeah, my kids are grown now, just as open with us as they always were, and I knew where they were & what they were doing during their teen years.  They were extremely busy with school, sports, and extracurriculars, and then we had dinner as a family and the kids did HW until bedtime.  On the weekends, they had some friends over, or we did things as a family.  It's impossible for some people to believe that you can set boundaries and kids/teens will actually abide by them.

I think the attitude quoted above is why some parents throw up their hands and figure, "Why bother?"  My three siblings and I all followed our household rules, too (and we were raised atheist, as my own kids were, so there was no higher power threat or anything like that).  I respected my parents then and now and didn't believe it was kind or just to push the envelope.  I'm sure there are some personalities who wouldn't do well in that setting, but there are people like myself, my sibs, and our respective kids who love structure and a rules-driven framework.  For the most part, we call ourselves geeks.   :mrgreen: [/quote]

If you had read my entire post you would have seen that I recommended setting limits for kids. I never said not to have rules and I never indicated that I had thrown my hands up (in fact, I indicated that my DD talks to me and - even if I didn't indicate it in my post - she not only follows our rules, but also appreciates them) . What I did say was that the parents who believe their kids are following their rules because their kids are perfect human beings and wouldn't dare to break a rule that was set are fooling themselves. Rules should be set that are appropriate for each family, their values and their culture; however, if you set rules and don't bother to discuss them with the kids (i.e. "My house, my rules") then you are creating "forbidden fruit". It's really not rocket science.

Oh and stop patting yourself on the back because your family ate dinner together, kids did sports and you had family activities on the weekends. Plenty of families do the same thing - you don't deserve the parent of the year award for creating a normal family environment. Guess what...plenty of the families I referred to whose kids regularly break the rules are known to eat together, play sports together, go on wonderful vacations and play board games on the weekends. The way I see it those are the parents who have thrown in the towel - they are either clueless or in denial. [/quote]

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