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[quote=Anonymous]We've been sending money to my in-laws for years.  It was getting to the point where we were seriously in debt because they were constantly having "emergencies" and needing $1000 or $2000 to resolve them (they live abroad and pay cash for most medical care), which meant many of our monthly expenses had to go on credit cards.

DH and I finally had a long talk and decided on a set amount each month based on what we could afford - no more, no less.  We did agree to send a little extra at the holidays, but we had to be able to afford it.  That is key - I agree with the previous posts about laying out the budget and coming up with the number that way.  In the long run, you will be better able to help out with their expenses if you get yourself on stable footing first.

I would also add please, please don't scrutinize the way they spend their money.  Once you give them money, it is theirs.  You will always find ways you would have spent it differently.  I say this from the perspective of someone whose relatives borrowed money from me for "food" then went on vacation the next week.  People will likely squander at least some of the money you send.  You can't let yourself get angry about it.  Consider whatever you give a gift and never send more than you can afford.  If you are getting angry about the way they spend it, you are probably already sacrificing more than you should to give them money.[/quote]

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