Reply to I got kicked out of Shady Grove's shared risk yesterday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ditto second opinion.

I just finished my 5th cycle with DEIVF in SG's shared risk program and we are withdrawing.  We used three different donors and RE didn't even attempt to change our protocols until prior to our 5th try (4 prior BFNs).  We got a BFP for the 5th try but have since been diagnosed with a blighted ovum and are hoping that we miscarry naturally (stopped meds 8 days ago).  Maybe I'm just bitter, but I'm pretty unimpressed with their program, donors, etc. [/quote]

Ugh, I'm so sorry.  Five failed DE cycles has to be incredibly frustrating.  I hate to even bring this up but have you considered surrogacy?  It sounds like there could be some sort of unresolved uterine issue.[/quote]

(21:03 here...)

Thanks... it has been a little over two years and has been very frustrating.  After our third BFN and second donor, I questioned the RE re: DH's sperm quality and any issues on my end.  RE basically said that as long as we were getting high graded embryos (we were) that he did not think there was a sperm issue and we did a bunch of saline sonograms looking for scarring, more bloodwork, etc.  After the fourth BFP, RE decided to send DH for karotyping (sp?) to see if there was a chromosomal realignment that was causing an issue with implantation.  They finally tested me and found a high % of NK cells (natural killer) and put me on steroids and a blood thinner as they decided that perhaps my NK cells were attacking the embryo and not allowing it to implant.  We were STUNNED and so happy to get a BFP on the 5th round, but found an empty sac at my 6 and 7 week u/s.  At this point the RE just said that there are clearly issues with the embryos, and perhaps they were sperm related but they really just couldn't say, and he couldn't give us any reason to believe that a 6th try would work.

As for surrogacy, where they can't give me any good info about DH's sperm potentially being the issue (after saying unequivocally no, then maybe, then we have no clue) we've decided to move onto adoption (though we have not made a move -- this has all happened in the last two weeks).  Also, when we researched surrogacy minimally, we were hearing anywhere between $50-75K.   We just aren't financially able to do something that still can't guarantee us a child.

When we learned that I had an issue with my eggs, we had discussed moving directly to adoption and were totally open to it but decided that we would try SG's shared risk because it seemed like we had nothing to lose -- the stats seemed so great and with so many tries we figured it would happen for us, and unfortunately we were the ones who had to be at the losing end of the stats.  We did the 1:3 shared donor, shared risk and my frustration was that with a fresh and frozen cycle with donor 1 -- none of us got pregnant.  With donor 2 we only had a fresh cycle and 1 got pregnant and my understanding is that the pregnancy was not continued.  With donor 3 we had a fresh and frozen - I got pregnant on the frozen and I believe that 1 got pregnant on the first fresh cycle with her.  It just seems like much lower % than they share with their stats.  We had a tough time choosing a donor each time because as pps have mentioned, they aren't that great and there aren't that many.  Their medical histories specifically were our biggest concern -- though DH and I rationalized choosing them by the fact that there are some cancer/heart/etc issues in my family to begin with.  Looking back, I have to say that I wish we researched options other than SG when we decided to move on to DE.

Sorry to hijack and sorry so rambling!  Anyway -- we need to research the adoption side of things.  I've spoken to a colleague recently who had a somewhat quick success with American Adoptions and we also have a private adoption attorney that we are going to talk to.  As mentioned, I am hoping to miscarry naturally soon so we can close this chapter and start moving onto our next step.  I'm 40, DH is 39 and it's been a long journey that we are anxious to put behind us.  [/quote]

PP, just so that you know, a blighted ovum is considered symptomatic of unresolved immune problems.  I was also diagnosed with high NK cells (after too many failures to count).  It took 4 years, but we were finally successful with a combination of steroids, blood thinners and regular infusions of IVIG.  I had my first DD in 2011 and got pregnant with #2 on the first try using the same protocol (am now 17 weeks).   It sounds to me like you got the right diagnosis but weren't treated aggressively enough.  Steroids and blood thinners alone weren't enough for me.  I know you've decided to move on to adoption, but I just wanted you to know about my experience.  Good luck!
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