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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks everyone for the great advice. 
I just had the convo with my sis and I think her feelings were hurt but the convo went ok. 
From her perspective, her kids have looser schedules in the summer, don't have summer bedtimes, and were capable of getting their own meals. She was also frustrated because she felt I'd refused her offers to help on other things. I told her that was because what I'd really needed for her to do was pitch in more with her kids.
She also said it never occurred to her to apologize for my niece's behavior because she's a kid and "I never thought I had to apologize for the behavior of a child."
When I pointed out to her that children have to learn polite and age appropriate behavior from we adults and part of that means saying you're sorry when you're rude then my sis did apologize. 
By and large I think my sis will sulk for awhile  (I mean it would kind of hurt my feelings if someone suggested I slacked with my kids). But I think she'll be more mindful of this kind of stuff with me in the future. 
I suggested that since this whole thing of getting the kids together is still fairly new, we should stick to a to each his own approach and mind our own kids when we're all together. That way we won't have parenting style clashes. 
Thanks again everyone for all of your help![/quote]

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