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[quote=Anonymous]OP again. So I sent my sis the following note and she agreed to talk with me tomorrow. 
And of course I open a birthday card from her today offering to take my dd for a week once the new baby arrives. It's a sweet offer, but I have big concerns about something like this.
All the thread comments about what would happen if her kids got sick reminded me that last month she left her sick and highly feverish 8 month old in my mom's care while she and her DH went to NYC to visit his family. The other two kids were left with yet another sis who doesn't even have her own place and is sleeping on a friend's couch. 
Her daughter was badly burned by frying oil and wasn't taken to the emergency room just a few weeks ago--despite pleading by family members. She now has a disfiguring scar on her chest. 
Then I remembered that one night during her visit I awoke at 1:30am and found her kids in my mom's room loudly watching cartoons--something their mom said they could do. Poor grandma had a pillow clutched over her head to shut out the noise.
And I recalled that on the days they did take my  2 year old dd to the museum or elsewhere she was brought home at 9:30 or 10 at night (despite us asking repeatedly to have her back by 7pm) and none of the kids had eaten anything but candy for "dinner" (hence my cooking).
Yeah...at the very least I need to address my issues with her and ask what's going on, sis to sis and mom to mom.
"Hey sis, you know I love you and the kids and am really glad you came. And thanks for taking dd to the museum! So, I do have something I wanted to mention... I'm really ill and it was very tough for me to watch your kids so much the other week when you guys visited and I had to give them dinner, baths, put them to bed, breakfast, to help keep our own household on a schedule. I felt really tired and stressed, especially with all the kids returning home really late nightly and staying up so late playing and watching tv. I also felt really bad when my niece interrupted our vow renewal to ask me for a snack and you didn't do anything or apologize for her behavior later. Can we talk about this? "
We'll see how the convo goes...[/quote]

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