Reply to FIL's GF is a sh*t-stirrer; how to deal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You guys have to stop caring about what she says. Seriously. Caring gives her power. Treat her politely but divest any emotional investment whatsoever. Blithe, polite, impersonal treatment. GL![/quote]

This is really the best advice, difficult to implement though it is. Long explanations to either FIL or GF WILL NOT WORK. They are elderly, uncaring and will not change! 
Why do I know? My mother is like GF. A heart-to-heart gives her more power to hurt because she knows she hit the mark. You really have to detach emotionally, there is no other way. DH and his siblings have treated their chronically depressed father this way for ever, because he was never there for them. They care for his bodily needs, but cannot be hurt by his lack of interest. I struggle to do this with my mother. I think it would be easier to do this with GF, who only appeared in your husband's life a few years ago. And it's not even as if your husband and his father are especially close.

Don't even listen to her. Reply non-committal things like "Oh, how interesting", "I dare say", etc... When she fails to rouse you, she will stop.

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