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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Will it be insulting to my SIL to ask her this?  She's easily insulted and loves to forget the past, so I think she will just explode if I say "hey how long has he been sober?"[/quote]We and you cannot control what your SIL will think. If you avoid talking to her because you're afraid she'll be insulted, you have failed to take the steps necessary to protect yourself and your family.  Don't give  her that kind of control over you.   You know the Serenity prayer, right - Change the things you can (talk directly to SIL and DIL), accept the things you can't change (SIL and BIL's reaction) and hope God or whatever spiritual power there is out there will give you the wisdom to know the difference.

BTW, you might want to check out an Al-Anon meeting and bring up this topic or you might want to do some reading about the family dynamics of alcoholics because it sounds like you all are getting swept up into it.  Which is no criticism of you - I've been there, done that -- it's easy to fall into.  Just want to point out that your fear of her exploding - which is keeping you from saying something - sounds like it fits right into an alcoholic family.

Good luck, OP! Let us know how it goes! [/quote]

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