Reply to SO: How do you fit into a poor or primarily minority public school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I was told (by my kid) that the hispanic kids (when I suggested an overture to them) didn't speak English. They did; they just always switched to spanish when my kid tried to talk to them. [/quote]

I just want to mention that this is a function of kids wanting to reinforce groups. In my daughter's school, if a non-gymnastic-inclined-kid tries to join the gymnast-kids at recess, the gymnast kids will all start doing gymnastics, even if they had been playing a clapping game. It's not "Hispanic kids are so mean/exclusionary" but rather "people want to reinforce their tribes/their own sense of belonging." If you read any of the "why does every kid in this area belong to a swim team?" you also read parents of children who weren't on the swim team sometimes feeling like their children were excluded.

There are really great reasons for kids to group together and feel like they're part of something. But it can be really hard when you're an outsider. I think in that sense, it's more important to find other ways to group in. I attended a highly (self-)segregated school for a while, and I found it easier to make cross-culture/religion/race friends in music classes than in spaces like the cafeteria. My child connects very well with some of those gymnastics kids in art class. I think looking for other opportunities to connect that allow for emphasizing different traits (music in my case, art in my daughter's) works better than trying to join in to already established tribal-esque groups.[/quote]

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