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[quote=Anonymous]Things I've learned from dealing with family illness.

1) lose all expectations of your family members. Yes, you want to have them but your expectations and their lack of being able to meet them will let you down (constantly). If you have zero expectations, any little bit they do will be a bonus.

2) You are seeing that each person doesn't do the same amount as you. Probably in their heads, they actually think they are. There's usually one family member that steps up and takes care of business. This would be you in this situation.

3) Behave and do what you need to so you can live with no regrets. Guilt will always be there because you'll never think you did enough. But know there is only so much you can do and live with that.

4) get organized and plan for the worst. Your mom will need long term care at some point. Communicate the plan to your siblings and tell them you expect them to be on board.

Those who end up being caretakers can and do fall into the martyr syndrome (whoa me!). It's natural but not everyone appreciates the attitude.

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