Reply to ILs/DH "set others up" and resort to gas lighting...

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[quote=Anonymous]Even though several PP don't think it's gaslighting, I think it could apply.  What you're trying to convey maybe is that you feel the comments are made on purpose in order to undermine your confidence and/or sense of self.  That they are telling you that the food you make and the normal things that people do (that DH and you would normally do) are unreasonable.  In the reading I did about gaslighting, one person telling another person that their completely reasonable action/reaction is unreasonable is gaslighting.  It's a deliberate action in order to skew one's sense of reality.  To make you doubt your perception of reality, feelings, understanding and instead replace it with theirs.

I agree that the only way to combat this behavior is to ignore it or leave the situation (i.e. not go to the beach).  If I was in your shoes and I still went to the beach, I would reaffirm the fact that these are reasonable feelings, reasonable expectations, and reasonable reactions to myself.  You can even say it out loud to him.  You don't have to shame him in public, but you can say to him in the moment, "No, this is a completely reasonable activity.  I am sorry you don't think it would be any fun."  And maybe, "The kids and I are going to do it anyway."

I am sorry you have to deal with this.  Good luck![/quote]

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