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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I will definitely read the other thread & Stepmonster.  I have a stepdad myself so I get that it's a different relationship.  It took me a very long time to consider him family.  I get that this is a big transition, but she adores her dad & they have frequent visits, so it's not the case that she's with a dad she hardly knows.  Dad asks if she wants to call or Skype mom, but she's doesn't care to.  This makes me think that she's not acting out, but that she has been raised by wolves (no manners, character, morals).  And, yes, tha is a dig on both of her parents.  Her behavior is out of control.  Smacking, finger licking, eating for with her hands, yelling, bullying friends, lying about all kinds of stuff every day, playing with her little brother like he's a doll, lifting him up in the air & carrying him carelessly, etc.  I repeat myself all the time.  Have you washed you hands after using the bathroom?  Please chew with your mouth closed & use utensils.  When you don't tell me the truth it's hard to trust you.  If you're going to hold your brother, you have to sit down and hold him on your lap. Etc. etc.  I try to have fun it this is exasperating.  Love her?  Have compassion?  I'm tryin to make sure she doesn't drop my son on his head & I don't wring her neck.  I praise when she does a good job & implements something (good job sharing, thank you for picking up your plate).  I try to play games & color & do fun things, but I honestly can't stand her.  Harsh, but true.  And I seriously wonder, who is this man I married?  He has so e rough edges, but I never imagined that he would allow his daughter to act in such a manner.  He literally said nothing as she ate chicken breast with her hands tonight.  This feels impossible.  [/quote]

OP, judging from this post I think you need more help than we can give you. Find a therapist who is trained in family systems and working with blended families. I will tell you one thing -- this situation will improve when your DH and you get on the same page. Good luck.[/quote]

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