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[quote=Anonymous]Think about things from her perspective.  This is an incredibly difficult and confusing time for her.  As a child, I didn't understand th reasons for my parents divorce and blamed myself for it.  I also held out hope they'd figure things out and end up back together, but seeing my step-mom and step-dads was a visual answer to that hopeful question.  It was difficult to process.

I also felt that I must have been a mistake if my parents weren't supposed to have been together.  I was sad, angry, and hurt.  It sounds like it might not be the case here, but my issues were exacerbated as my step-mom moved into my mom's physical space in the house.  I had a breakdown when I saw her clothes lined up in my mom's closet.  My dad and stepmom didn't see what the big deal was... Where was she supposed to keep her clothes?  It was just very difficult for me to process.

My step-dad is closer to me than my step-mom is today.  I think it partially because he let me come to him.  He understood and tried to make things comfortable for me, but he never tried too hard or asked to go shopping or out golfing with me.  My step-mom wanted to get nails done together, etc.  but it just felt forced and a bit too much too quickly.  For me, it was not only allowing this new person into my life, but also considering what my life was like and making sense of the separation/divorce.

I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but I just really think the more you can put yourself into her shoes the better you will be able to react to and understand the situation.  She is undoubtedly a sad little girl forced to grapple with questions and unrstandings she shouldn't have to at this age.  I think it is important to have compassion for that.[/quote]

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