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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  This has been really tough so far.  This girl appears to have been raised by wolves.  She doesn't eat meals (only what she wants); she doesn't pick up after herself; she doesn't share; she lies; she yells in the house; etc.  We visited with my parents and they literally told me they won't visit again if she's in town.  My DH says he wants her to live with us PERMANENTLY.  I hope & pray that never happens.  Even still, there are still summers & vacations.  What do I do??  I've tried to pick my battles & focus only on things that affect me, e.g., yelling in the house, but not refusing to eat what's for dinner.  But the lying?  The refusing to share?  The being mean to friends?  The always wanting things her way?  She is a spoiled brat & I seriously can't take it.  OK, vent over.  If you have some suggestions, I surely would appreciate them.[/quote]

Again, urging you to read Stepmonster.  It will keep you same.

I know it sounds crazy, but having her live with you full time might help her behavior; that is, if you and DH can be on the same page.  But since he is overindulgent, it's going to be tough.  Stepmonster has lots of examples of this, with some couples who successfully navigated the change and some who didn't.

My DSD moved in with us full time a couple of months ago and it has been pretty bad.  Our circumstances are different - dhe's
19 and we have an infant - but like yours, mine is not used to any kind of rules or boundaries and she hates it, so she's moving in with her mom soon.  We didn't have much in the way of rules---no drugs, no overnights with boyfriends, clean up after yourself, and let us know if you're not coming home.  We also ask her to with be home or let us know if she'll be rating overnight somewhere else by 11pm on work nights.  Since I have an infant, I have also asked that she have no overnight guests for the first couple of months that the baby is home, b:c I'm up all hours of the night nursing and don't want to encounter a stranger as I'm in my bra, half asleep.  During the time she's been here she hasn't helped around the house at all, changed a diaper, or taken a bottle feeding.  But I'm happy when she holds the baby because I want them to have a relationship.  Unfortunately, she's going back to her mom.

The saving grace through all this upheaval is that DH and I have stayed pretty much on the same page.  That's key.  Good luck to you!!![/quote]

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