Reply to Is grabbing spouse's car keys a form of violence and/or abuse?

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Reply to "Is grabbing spouse's car keys a form of violence and/or abuse?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's controlling behavior and it is usually male on female, so yes, it is a form of abuse in my opinion.  [b]Whenever someone  limits or controls your access to something you have equal ownership over, that's a form of abuse.[/b]  You are an adult, not a child.  Not good.[/quote]

Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head - that's why I freaked out at that moment (screaming at him, etc - not really like me)  - had one of those "teenage moments"  - like when your mom does not let you do something just because she is stronger, you know? It was like "you are grounded and I don't care".
I just remember another thing like that. We have a joint account and several years ago he was the primary holder; so he once threatened to cut off my access. I got worried and set aside some cash (I SAH) just in case; then later when we spoke about it (after the fight) I told him he scared me so much I had to do that, thinking he would be ashamed - but he instead accused me of stealing (!), which led to another fight...
I realize it is a gloomy picture I am painting here, but otherwise he is a very nice guy who does not control me in any way (and often accuses me of not listening to him and doing my own thing, so he sees himself a victim in a way). So maybe he is just desperately trying to make me hear him out? I don't know. 
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