Reply to How do you handle passive aggressive in laws?

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[quote=Anonymous]Does she have a history of bringing cherries as a treat? Has it been an issue in the past where she gives him things he is allergic to?

If not then you making the assumption that the treat that she will bring will be cherries and that she will choose a treat that could hurt him would definitely not sit well with her and be hurtful.

Why not just ask what treat and when she says a book or ice cream - you can say - oh he'll love that. By insinuating she would  bring something that will hurt him you set up the situation for her to be upset. Now if she has a history of feeding him foods he is allergic to then direct reminders are appropriate.

Once she is there in person you can make comments like so far we haven't seen any other reactions to other fruits, so it is still just cherries we are avoiding so far. That way you convey your point without making the assumption that she is going to choose a treat that could hurt him.

She should deal with you directly and not call her son to complain. Your husband was probably annoyed he got called at work to deal with the situation. You set up the bait and she took it. Your husband is probably tired of this dynamic. You had to know that suggesting she would choose a treat that he was allergic too would upset her. [/quote]

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