Reply to Grandmother to be, and visiting after birth

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[quote=Anonymous]As painful as it is to realize that you aren't a dearly wanted grandma, you need to take a step back and do as they ask in order to keep the peace and to be able to maintain a relationship with your grandchildren. Your DIL will likely control how involved you are in their life.

When you go to their house don't just jump in and start helping. they are telling you that you are a visitor or a guest - not someone they see as someone they want in the house all the time and you need to respect that. Politely offer to help out. You can ask your son to give you a heads up on what your DIL considers helpful and not helpful. Don't overstay your welcome - better to have a few short visitors as a guest then come across too strong and have even more distance put between you.

Many people don't see extended family as family or think they should be actively involved (unless its to babysit when they need someone!). It is a real adjustment if you have seen extended family as family and consider your DIL to be family when she doesn't see you the same way.

Congrats on the new grandbaby.

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