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[quote=Anonymous]Context is everything here.  I don't expect or even ask for childcare from my family.  They offer, and I accept their help gratefully.  But here are the ground rules:

1.  When you make an offer, it is a gift not a transaction: I don't owe you anything for it (unless that was part of the offer).  So when you offer to babysit, we do not owe you a lengthy social visit before and after the babysitting time, or a Saturday of work in your yard, or whatever.  This doesn't mean we never visit or never help you, it means we don't visit or help you [i]because of [/i]the babysitting or in direct proportion to the number of babysitting offers.  Don't act like our time or our love is for sale.  If you feel taken advantage of, stop offering.

2.  When you make an offer, you must follow through -- show up on time, be available for the whole time discussed, and provide the same level of care that a babysitter would.  I think older relatives, in particular, imagine they want to care for grandchildren and then get overwhelmed / bored / irritated by all the not-cute things that small children do.  If you prefer to only see these kids clean and well-behaved, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that -- but don't offer to babysit for a whole evening.  I would always, always rather pay a babysitter than deal with a relative who is late, double-booked, inattentive or disengaged, secretly resentful, etc.

If you can't follow these two rules, then I will decline your offers to help ... and then we'll have a thread about how I withhold your grandchildren from you or how I think you're not good enough to babysit.[/quote]

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