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Family Relationships
Reply to "why do so many of you expect family to help"
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[quote=Anonymous]I think there are a lot of willing grandparents out there but a) they're in over their heads and b) their adult children are too quick to take the help without solving their own childcare issues on their own first--mine are willing but I'm careful for these reasons: I believe that one reason I had such a good relationship with my grandparents was because they did not raise me. They came to visit on Sundays, played with us, took us out outings, told us stories, and then went home. We never fought. I never had ill-will toward them and I now have great memories of them and these really kind and generous people who loved us and I respected. They did not have to deal with my day to day school issues (helping with homework, driving me all over kingdomcom and later, pre-teen obnoxiousness, for example. They knew disciplining was my parents' job and they stepped back to let my parents do the job they signed up for as parents. Another reason I'm careful not to have my parents raise my kids is because, they are GETTING OLD. My father is slowing up and will probably need orthopedic surgery soon. My mother gets overwhelmed by little things that wouldn't have overwhelmed her years ago. I couldn't see siccing toddlers and little kids on these people. It would be cruel. I knew a family who did just that-- the sickly old grandma watched the two brats and they ran the woman into the ground while mom and dad worked. She couldn't handle it. There are children who a 17 year old babysitter could barely keep up with, never mind an elderly person. [/quote]
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