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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For as long as I remember, my parents, particularly my mother, could never make choices without someone else's blessing or recommendation. Even when she goes to restaurants, my mother can't even choose a meal without scratching her head over it for 15 minutes. What I've come to realize is that their behavior isn't only a sign that they are just extremely risk averse-- everything is a big deal and it's better to keep the status quo than change something-- but that maybe they're just really poor decision makers. This behavior has led them down the wrong path a few times already, particularly regarding my grandparents' care. Rather than research assisted living homes, they listen to their friends and go running in circles when they should be visiting homes and interviewing directors.

She's pulled the same thing with less important decisions like booking hotels. It's literally taken her months to book a hotel to visit me and my siblings or just take a trip with my father for fun. If it weren't for that fact that my parents have been this way all of my life, I'd think this was just a sign that there were getting very old and vulnerable. [b]Does anyone have any advice for how I can kind of push them out of this weird nest they've created for themselves?[/b] I've tried telling my mom that she needs to make certain choices based on her own research, for example, booking a vacation to a place they've never visited, but she ends up just not making a choice and going nowhere, or going to the same places over and over and over again. My father just goes along with it as any time he makes a decision that isn't "correct" she pitches a fit. [/quote]

You can't.  They are adults, and have apparently been like this their whole lives.  They will only change if they want to.  You need to stop worrying about their decisions when they don't directly affect you.  If they can't plan a vacation, they don't go on vacation.  This is not your problem.

If they ask for help planning a trip to see you, you can suggest a hotel.  Then let it go.  Otherwise, if the conversation becomes about their inability to make a decision about something, just disengage.  "I can't help you.  You need to make that choice yourself."  Then change the subject.  Repeat endlessly as necessary.

The fact that you are having a baby is irrelevant, except insofar as its causing you to decide that you no longer wish to listen to your mom talk about how she can't pick a car rental agency.  You can't control them, you can only control you.  [/quote]

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