Reply to Is it wrong to tell a child they were a surprise/accident? What about unwanted?

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Reply to "Is it wrong to tell a child they were a surprise/accident? What about unwanted?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, Im curious as to what the net gain for the DC#2 would be in having this information?

I've already told DD that she was planned (she was in that we stopped using birth control so I could get pregnant- still took a year!) and that we are both so glad we decided to have a child because we almost decided against it. I will also tell her about me, and waht my mother said to me.

[b]The net gain to her would be the knowledge that children come into our lives a variety of ways, and that in both my case and hers, there was/is love in great abundance!

So, in my opinion, the motivation for telling her should be to point out that the roads to happy outcomes are delightfully varied[/b].[/quote]

OP here.  This is a nice story, PP!  In the same vein, the net gain could also be for DC #2 to know exactly what you yourself said- just because they were a surprise doesn't mean they aren't the love of my life, etc.

For the PPs who asked how would my child know?  Well, let's just say we have unique circumstances that when people learn about our family, their first question is to ask if DC #2 was a surprise (yes, rude, but it happens).  And when DC #2 is old enough to fully understand how DC #1 came about, it'll be quite obvious to them they were unplanned.

I'm asking b/c my mom is aghast that DC#2 would ever find out, but as I said, DH was a surprise (actually, as were his two brothers!) and he doesn't see the big deal at all.  I was just wondering about such competing thoughts.

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