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Reply to "Mean relative. How does one handle this?"
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[quote=Anonymous]It is really so sad that your sis and bil are so racist and toxic. But I think you need some firmer boundaries and this can only occur, as you've figured out and others have suggested, on neutral ground. Staying at a hotel and meeting at a neutral place is only fair. Your family has every bit as much right as hers to feel comfortable and, as others have said, the race and class bubble thing is an issue. If she balks you can make your concerns known in a tactful way, but stand your ground. She and her dh do not get to dictate the dynamic of everything and everyone around them. We had to do this with some inlaws who are religious bigots (we are a mixed faith family). It was rough at first, but now they know it's a line they don't cross with us and everyone involved has made their boundaries clear. Now, family events are less stressful because we all know where everyone stands, what they will and won't likely attend, and expectations are managed.[/quote]
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