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[quote=Anonymous]I'm 16:45.

My guess is that SIL and BIL care enormously about the class system, and how others should perceive them to be at the very top of it. Their children must therefore do them credit.

Why not tap into that snobbery by explaining that good behavior and success are better achieved from a place of loving self-confidence than fear of retribution?
And that successful parenting can be extremely structured and disciplined but does not have to be harsh? Consistency is key, not severity.

I would buy them a book about that kind of parenting - strict, but loving. Something along the lines of raising little gentlemen and little ladies. They'll take it better from someone else, since they know this is not how you raise your own children.

I would also continue to visit occasionally, and use this to pursue a continuous, non-confrontational dialogue about parenting, and also to model good parenting behavior.

Of course, they are never going to acknowledge that you raise good points! You are lower down in the class system, you see :-)
It's for the sake of your niece and nephews. [/quote]

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