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[quote=Anonymous]
[quote]We went though something similar with my in-laws. Both in their lower 60s and they started essentially demanding 10s of thousands of dollars because their investments went south and it was crimping their two-home lifestyle. DH is a big law associate, but his job is nowhere near secure. We have four children, including one thimat has SNs and student loans. It was insane MIL could not see that our family's paycheck was not her's for the asking.

What worked for us was cutting ONE check to get them out of a terriable mess and also telling them that this was all we could do. Period. They came back six months later asking for $25,000. We told them no and it was so awkward. I still cannot believe the conversations we had to have - it was like talking to teenagers.

Good luck OP. Stand your ground!!!! 
  [/quote]

Oh, I've so been there.  SAME situation.  I was the big law associate, and it was my parents.  Went on for years.  Partially the position my parents found themselves in was bad luck, partially it was bad (very bad) financial decisions on their part.

They declared bankruptcy just after I finished college (you can imagine my financial situation in college - financial aid was stingy and I ended up wracking up tens of thousands of CC debt for necessities like food and books).  I had just started law school and was dependent on financial aid for my living expenses when my dad asked for a loan so that he could travel to job interviews (he was unemployed).  I loaned him my financial aid money and shocker! he did not pay it back, leaving me in a serious bind for that semester (thank goodness for the extremely kind financial aid lady who took pity on me and gave me an extra loan out of a exceptional-circumstances-FA slush fund).  I did really well at law school and as soon as I landed a 2L summer associate position, my parents decided that I owed them for the car they gave me when I was 17 (which was an old/used car then and this was 7 years later) and that the purchase price was $5K.  I paid it.  My brother was in a bind when he graduated college - didn't have the $ for moving expenses and my parents didn't either - so I paid that.  I didn't mind being generous about paying for dinners out and things like that - but it did start to bother me when it became an expectation (like, of course we will be going out to dinner, and of course I would be paying).  When I got married, we paid for the wedding out of my savings (really my savings - DH bless his heart did not bring a lot of cash to the marriage) which was fine, but it did bother me that my parents demanded that I invite several of their (not my) friends (including people I did not even know).  I can't really explain why I caved in all the time and just did as told but I did.

My parents continued to make really stupid financial decisions and at some point I turned a corner from passively accepting that it was my "role" to pay when asked.  They would be really short of cash, and do stupid things like insist on "needing" two cars (when my father was not working anymore).   At one point, they needed cash for moving expenses.  DH and I discussed it, and decided that was it.  We'd pay the $6K in moving expenses and explain that we were not doing this anymore.  Then about a year or so later, I get a call from my parents, asking can I send them the money for them to travel to attend a cousin's wedding & for the wedding present too.  I said no.  My father said that then my mother would have to postpone her knee replacement surgery for another year, because they didn't have the money to attend the wedding & have the surgery.  It was really hard but I held my ground.  My parents were furious with me, but they have not asked for money again.

My mother just retired, and so now my parents will be living on social security.  I'm sure that it's only a matter of time when they will be in money trouble.  Amazingly, they managed to pull themselves together somewhat in the past couple of years, and were able to buy a house in 2010.  They just refinanced, so have 30 yrs on their mortgage (they are 70 years old).  It was a cheap house, and they have a low fixed rate mortgage, but I'm afraid for the inevitable home repairs and medical bills that are not covered.  Not to mention what happens when they can't live on their own like that anymore.  My brother is not particularly financially responsible (he has never contributed to them) so I can't count on any help from him.

It would be one thing if I were just wallowing in a sea of money, but that's not exactly the case.  DH and I make a really good, solid income.  We live in a pretty modest and small home with one bathroom upstairs for the 4 of us and a tiny galley kitchen.  I'd rather deal with the small house, and save money. Our kids won't be eligible for FA, so I want to save to make sure they don't find themselves the way my brother and I did coming out of college.  I also want to make sure that DH and I save for retirement and don't put this kind of burden on our kids.  That's what fortifies me in standing up to them.

I'm sure I will be contributing to them in the future, but as a PP said, it does give you the right to place some conditions.  I'm not going to blindly pay for their stupid financial decisions any more.  Stand your ground OP!

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