Reply to Recovering from Betrayal and Deception

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  If you felt like I swindled you by failing to provide enough context -- I apologize.  I was trying to solicit input from others who may have lied/been lied to in different situations.  While my case involves drugs, I'm sure others have been lied to about money, infidelity, etc, so I wanted to hear from those people as well.  Thanks to those who have provided substantive responses and suggestions.

While reading through the comments, this is where I am struggling.

Where I want to be/what I want to do:  "The more anger and sadness you express, the more he will lie to avoid causing a fight or to prevent you from feeling sadness.  . . . Although he violated your trust, he needs to trust you in that he can make mistakes and you'll still accept him.  . . . Don't take it personally, and go on about how your DH is lying to you and how could he, but recognize he's lying b/c that's what addicts do. So hit the nail on the head and work through his problems of addiction rather than making him feel guilty for lying."

my question is:  how do you get there when you're in the hurting place?  Is it just time?

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