Reply to I want a different life than my husband wants

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear OP,

You can make this call when he is the one bringing home the paycheck. It sounds like he has more of a say in what goes since he's bringing home the bacon.

You need to take small steps to make yourself more independant. Maybe consider re-entering the work force? It will give you a confidence boost and you will not have an idle mind just sitting back and thinking about everything thats wrong with your life because you will be wrapped up in other things.

I totally get where you are coming from Im in a similar situation except that I work and I bring home 60% of the pay. If HE brought home 60% of the pay or more he would totally try to call all of the shots.

We have 1 toddler and Ive been saying that I want to move away, possibly west, to a simpler life for a few years. He's not hearing it though and wants to stay put. I have become very resentful.

In the meantime Ive been taking steps on my own to live a life closer to the one I want to live. Ive been actively searching out activities and things to do on the weekend that will bring us closer to nature. In fact I proposed the idea that we go visit some botanical gardens and he just couldnt understand why someone would want to do that.

Most of our weekends are spent with my toddler and I exploring on our own while he stays close to home to pursue his own hobbies. It totally sucks because you want to have a "family" outing but at the end of the day you cant control him. Just take the steps that you need to take on  your own to at least get "partial" fulfillment as opposed to none at all.[/quote]

Just because her husband brings home all or most of the money doesn't mean he calls the shots.  I am with the kids at all time so I get to make more of the decisions that revolve around them.
If I want to take the kids for a hike, and DH doesn't, then we go without him. It's his choice and we never make a big deal about his not going.[/quote]

Right, I understand what you are saying but based on one of pp's prior posts it seems as though she would prefer her husband to be involved in the activities. Someone suggested an activity to the OP and she responded "Good idea. However, I will be taking the kids and he will be at home golfing. Sigh. "

This leads me to believe that she is wanting the whole family to go on these outings.

To be clear Im not suggesting that she make a big deal out of his not going but it is clearly affecting her and she wants him there as an active participant.[/quote]

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