Reply to I want a different life than my husband wants

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, our baseline scenario is a bit different from your's but I understand your thought process.  DH is a major introvert, and would prefer to do minimal socialization.  Not just attending kids birthday parties or thinks like county fair or strawberry festivals, but even neighborhood block parties stress him out.  I, on the other hand, crave more socialization and want a broader circle of friends and family and experiences for DC.

Since it sounds like you are home a lot more than he is, you control more than you think.  As PPs said, make those changes in day to day life.  Dial down the amount of activities for the kids - if he's not there to take them to and from and sit at games and practices and whatnot, then much of that decision-making should fall on you.

Go ahead and make changes in how you spend your free time.  I've started making plans for me and DC that DH may or may not want to join.  Playdates, trips to the park, special outings.  Sometimes he joins, sometimes he doesn't.  Yes, it's scary to know that it means I have to work harder at our marriage, but it also allows me to give me and my child more of a life that meets my needs too.

Moving or pulling kids out of school are big decisions that need to be made jointly.
Just because you belong to a country club doesn't mean you have to go there, unless it's a commitment for the two of you, right?

I reinforce to my DH that I love him and he means the world to me, but that in some parts of our lives our needs are different and we need to find ways to satisfy both of us.  It makes me sad that sometimes he chooses to engage in his solitary hobby instead of an afternoon at the park with me and DC, but he's starting to realize that he's missing out.  That simple walk around the block before bedtime that he's never bothered with - he's now starting to make time for and is realizing that those little moments matter.[/quote]

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