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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Your first obligations are to your child and husband. After that, comes your sister. Let your sister know how much you want to be a part of her life, but it can't involve compromising your family. Meet her on neutral ground. Hopefully, she'll agree. Your father and step-mother are going to have to figure it out. [/quote] I would amend the above to say your first obligation is to yourself. What you describe is incredibly toxic and now that you're an adult, you don't have to live that way any more. When you're a kid (like your youngest sister) you don't get a choice but you've got one now. As you well know, accomodation and appeasement just doesn't work in the long run. You're going to have to stand your ground on this. You should be clear to everyone that you find your SM's behavior unacceptable and you will not tolerate her abusing any one. If that happens, you will immediately leave. This isn't an argument, this isn't a discussion. It's just the way it is. You MUST be prepared to follow through. When she engages in that behavior, get up, state what behavior is abusive/unacceptable and tell all you are leaving. Make sure you keep reaching out to your little sister. She's old enough to have learned a few manipulation tips from her mother and it sounds like she's starting to use them. Good luck![/quote]
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