Reply to Ballet tickets, MIL, and babysitting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. I probably do need to light up on some level, but as another PP noted, I'm partially annoyed because it IS a passive-aggressive way to get what she wants.

Apart from flat-out refusing to follow "my crazy FTM rules" (put him on his back to sleep, always use the car seat in the car *and* do up the buckles, no giving sugar to the baby as a treat, etc.), she does have some physical limitations and memory issues.

She's almost dropped him quite a few times and usually tries to cover it by saying that he's really wiggly or heavy or strong for her (he's 14lbs, not huge), yet then she tries to lift him up above her head to play "airplane." She's extremely iffy on the stairs and leans heavily on the handrail to get up and down.

She can't remember how to spell his name (it's 4 letters, not difficult), or his birthday, or how old he is. She can't remember if she fed or walked her dog that day, frequently forgets to close and lock the door to her house, often has no idea what day it is, etc.

Anyway, I like the idea of leaving DH with her and going to the ballet with a girlfriend. Or just explaining we're not ready to leave him yet and suggest she use the tickets. The thing is, I see these issues getting worse, not better over time (though he will get to be less work once he can walk, dress himself, etc.), so I'm not sure I will really ever feel comfortable with her babysitting him. [/quote]

There's absolutely no way I would let her babysit by herself.  This goes well beyond merely having a MIL that doesn't want to abide by your rules.  This is clearly someone who should not be left alone with an infant.  I mean, what if she wants to give him a bath and then walks away because she forgot to grab a towel beforehand? Or she wants to carry him up and down the stairs even though she herself struggles with them.

This is a no-brainer to me.  You shouldn't feel bad at all and anyone who tells you to "lighten up" because it's "just 3 hours" is welcome to leave THEIR children in her care.

What if you invited her over to your house to "babysit" so you can get "things around the house" done.  You could make it a really big deal.  Call her up and say, "Oh my gosh, I have SO much I need to get done around the house and I just can't do it if I don't have someone to watch DS.  Can you come over to babysit for him so I can reorganize my pantry/clean my closet/re-caulk my shower.  I would appreciate it SO much."   And then keep an eye on her.  Let the small stuff slide so she doesn't feel monitored but be present enough in case things get dicey.

Good luck!
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