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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  We are already in counseling.  He doesnt want to help around the house because I don't show enough gratitude for the things he does do ([b]daycare pickups, grocery shopping, taking out trash[/b]).  He says no matter what he does I am not satisfied.  I do think part of the problem is that I don't respect him because he spends all his time on Reddit or TV, unless he is helping me with DD or something I asked him to do. But he does't do things of his own accord.  I picked the wrong person but now this is what I'm working with so tryjng to figure out how to improve things.[/quote]

When we were a 2 working parent family, those things still had to get done. They did.

I understand that people have issues with feeling appreciated, but honestly, demanding appreciation for things that you should be doing just in the course of being a responsible partner and parent is a bit beyond the pale. Does he express appreciation for the things that you do around the house? [/quote]

Daycare dropoff/pickup - max of 45 min/day for 5 days a week (and that's if you don't live super close to daycare).
Grocery shopping - max of 2 hours a few days a week (that includes stopping at multiple places if you can't get everything in one place).
Taking out trash - max of 5 min/day

So that means he is currently "working" 8 hours and 20 minutes a week.  And that's being generous - counting activities that most people do on TOP of their FT job.

Sorry - I definitely think people should work on marriages but I don't think I could put up with this.  I get annoyed with my DH's level of effort sometimes and he works FT (50-55 hrs/week), takes out the trash, goes grocery shopping, cooks on weekends and helps out occasionally with the bedtime routine (bathing, reading).[/quote]

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